8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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