I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I can't turn off my feet"
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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