She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize