yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Randomize
