this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
