I think I died a long time ago.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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