Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
