Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
a search helicopter?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize