you win again, gameday.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
