they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize