i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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