I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
