you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
He kissed a someone with a penis
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
