Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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