All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize