a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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