Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
