My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
So vagazzling was a success
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
