Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
cat food counts as protein by the way
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
