He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
