I should be sponsored by Trojan
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
