She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
