you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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