I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
