Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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