seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
