I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Your cock deserves a montage
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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