I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
