I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize