Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
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Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
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Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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