I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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