How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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