It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
i now understand why vodka
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
