That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
