I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize