The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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