If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
