Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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