How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
