If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
