I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
