so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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