Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
