its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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