you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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