The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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