break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
