he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
