There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
