hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
