Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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