I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
