my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
