shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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