its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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