You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize