I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
