I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
