so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
