sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
You don't make any sense
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