I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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