do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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