why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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