when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
