ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
