i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize