DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He shit in the fireplace
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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