Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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